


Locked and Loaded / Catering to the Maid

by pippen2112



Series: RvB Smut Week 2k17 [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Chastity Device, Cock Cages, Dildos, Dom!Carolina, Established Relationship, Felix Being a Dick, Femdom, Gags, I'm honestly not sure what to call it so I picked "living statues", Kinky Relationship, Latex, Living Together, Living statues, Multi, Oral Sex, PWP, Polyamorous relationship, Punishment, RvB Smut Week, Sex Toys, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 09:57:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11941701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippen2112/pseuds/pippen2112
Summary: This is, without doubt, the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to him.  Par none.  Felix glowers down at his newly shaven groin and the glossy chrome wrapping his penis root to tip, locking his cock limp and useless.  Because his partners are the worst.In which Felix is a dick and his partners punish him accordingly.





	1. Locked and Loaded

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came out of the after dark Discord server and is dedicated the everyone who pitched in ideas (I would name everyone, but I honestly don't remember who all contributed). All the tags listed feature prominently in the story, but there are others mentioned in passing. If you are concerned, please message me on Tumblr (birdsbeesandlemonadetrees.tumblr.com) or leave a comment.

This is, without doubt, the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to him.  Par none.  Felix glowers down at his newly shaven groin and the glossy chrome wrapping his penis root to tip, locking his cock limp and useless.  Because his partners are the worst.

Seriously, who the fuck even considers chastity when thinking up punishments, much less actually stripping him and pinning him to the bed while Wash manned a cheap plastic razor and Tucker locked the infernal contraption around his privates?  Locus and 'Lina, that's who.

And sure, he'd stood up Locus and Carolina  for this month's date night at an MMA exhibition match.  And yeah, he and Tucker had been at each other's throats more often for the past week.  And okay, for the past month or so, whenever he had a bad day at work he'd flop into the middle of whatever scene his partners had orchestrated and drag over the nearest willing body to fuck away his frustrations. 

Felix's dick bobs, trying to swell and instead meeting impassible restrictions.  He sighs. To think, the last time he got himself off was during his lunch break, a frenzied session in the handicapped stall, fueled by Tucker's less than tasteful dick pics.  Now, if he wants to get hard again, he'll have to suck up to his partners until one of them--whoever happened to have the goddamn key--decides he's "learned his lesson" and "paid his debt to society."

Hanging his head, Felix pouts.  

_ Ah, fuck. _

#

After letting out an exaggerated moan, Tucker stills his hand on his prick, spreads his legs a little wider, and leers at the bobbing head between them.  "You get lost down there, Felix?  Because I swear, I could get lost in more than just your eyes.  Bow chicka bow wow."

Felix glares, his hands clenching at his sides, his nose pressed behind Tucker's balls, his tongue circling Tucker's rim.  Because he has his god-damn pride, thank you very much.  And because Tucker said even locked up, Felix wouldn't go down for him.  (Yes, Felix is aware this is exactly what Tucker wants, but if he's stuck playing nice, he's gonna make them regret it.)

"Aw, don't give me that look, babe," Tucker teases, adding insult to injury by palming the head of his cock and twisting just the way Felix loves.  _ Mocking fuck. _ "The only person you've got to blame this whole situation on is yourself.  Besides, wouldn't wanna lose a chance to get unlocked, would you?"

Growling, Felix shuts his eyes and redoubles his efforts.  Come hell or high water, he's gonna make Tucker come before the thought of fucking him even crosses his tiny, hormone soaked brain.  

See, nine times out of ten Felix likes Tucker just fine.  They're both into video games, both hate their jobs, both can get off on flirting their partner into a boneless puddle of goo.  But because they're both so similar, they're also eerily good at getting under each other's skins.  Not that that's a bad thing.  Whenever they start properly arguing it devolves into the best hate sex Felix can recall, and it's glorious...when Felix is topping.  But going on day four of his cock being out of commission, Felix has been stuck weaseling his way out of dealing with Tucker, keeping his temper in check so he doesn't risk going belly up for Tucker of all people.  Sure, Felix takes direction well enough, but he truly excels when left to his own devices, and that is sufficiently harder when his dick is wrapped in steel and, well, not hard.

Pulling back just enough to nip at the crease between Tucker's ass and thighs, Felix peppers the dark skin with bites before diving back in.  Normally, he'd bring his hands up and take over where Tucker's jerking himself toward the edge, but Tucker just had to say "no hands".  Felix grouses between Tucker's cheeks.  Playing by Tucker's rules suck.  So Felix follows suit, sucks along the rim, and shoves his tongue in hard enough Tucker squawks.

Before long, Tucker's sighs turn needy, and his hips twitch against the couch. Without a word of warning, he grabs Felix by the hair, yanks him down on his cock, and snaps his hips.  Felix takes the length in stride, hollowing his cheeks and working his tongue against the shaft like a man in prayer.   _ Please let this asshole finish so I can get my dick wet again. _

Tucker gasps a warning before his balls hitch and he thrusts forward, spilling his cum down Felix's throat.  Eyes closed, Felix swallows--not like he's gonna give Tucker another opportunity to give him shit.  Tucker relaxes back onto the couch, idly stroking Felix's hair.  It'd be nice if his groin weren't pulsing against an immovable object.  Felix clears his throat, gives Tucker a look.  Tucker rolls his shoulders, takes in Felix still on his knees between his thighs, and asks, "You cramp up?"

"Ha-ha, asshole.  You gonna unlock me or what?"

For two seconds, Tucker's brow knits in confusion before a devilishly giddy grin spreads across his cheeks.  He curls in on himself, howling with laughter.  "Holy shit, you bought that?!"

Cheeks coloring, Felix stumbles to his feet--his legs actually wobbling after spending so long on his knees, dammit Tucker--and storms off to take a cold shower.  Tucker's laughter echoes after him.

But, to be fair, if their positions were reversed, Felix absolutely would've pulled the same crap.

#

As Felix stomps past the kitchen, Tucker's cackling trailing after him, Locus hangs his head.  Honestly, he'd hoped this foul mood would blow over.  He'd hoped they wouldn't need to bring punishment into this, but Felix is like a hurricane: wind and fury and nothing but time can sway him.  

"I wouldn't worry about it," Wash says from across the kitchen, slicing peppers and onions while Locus tends to the meat.  

"He's acting like a child who's had his favorite toy taken away."

Wash snorts.  "You're not exactly wrong.  But it's only been a few days.  For someone as stubborn as Felix, it'll take a bit for the reality of his situation to sink in."

"It didn't with you."

"Well, chastity isn't a punishment thing for me.  Just give it time.  I'd bet he'll start getting it by or before Emily's visit."

Locus shudders sympathetically.  "Three weeks is a long time to keep him under lock and key."

Wash shrugs.  "He can take it.  If he can't, he knows his safe word.  It may not full-stop the punishment, but he can make his feelings known."

True.  All true points.  But Felix has never spent any length of time playing the submissive.  Usually those bouts are few and far between.  Then again, when their quintet became an official unit, they agreed to certain rules and punishments, and they've honored those rules for nearly two years now.  Even if Felix is annoyed to find himself on the sour end of proceedings, he's not going to jeopardize what they've built together. 

For all his foul attitudes, Felix cares about his partners.  He's just unskilled at showing it.  

#

Day twelve of lock up marks the morning Locus is due to fly out for a three day business conference.  Felix weasels his way into sharing a shower, hoping he can get in a quickie.  Instead, Locus bend Felix over in the shower, ruts against his ass until he finds his own release, then douses them both in cold water.  Felix's teeth chatter as he leaps out of the bath, toweling furiously and shooting Locus dirty looks.  In lieu of rising to Felix's bait, Locus dries himself off in a quick motions, scoops Felix up and pins him against the bathroom wall.  A faint squeak slips out of Felix's throat, but it fades to a hum as Locus nuzzles the crook of his neck.

Breath caught in his lungs, Felix whispers, "Cheater."

Locus chuckles.  "Perhaps."  He rakes his teeth over Felix's throat for good measure.  "Maybe if you behave while I'm gone, you might find some small relief."

Felix gasps, arching against Locus's chest and groaning.  "That mean you aren't whisking away my shot at freedom?"

Locus hums noncommittally.

Before Felix can press for a definitive answer, the bathroom door jolts free of its hinges, and Carolina carefully pulls it into the hallway, her hair a mess and her pajama top riding up her trim stomach, her eyebrow twitching.  "I'd suggest you relocate," she gestures to their tangle of limbs as she sits on the toilet, " _ all _ this."

As he dresses and packs a few last minute items, Locus steels butterfly kisses from Felix, but nothing near passionate.  Felix crosses his arms and blocks the doorway defiantly.  "Like hell you're getting past me."

Chuckling, Locus grabs his travel back and briefcase in one hand, wraps an arm around Felix's waist, and lifts him out of the way.  "Like hell, you say?"

Felix scrambles to wrap his legs around Locus's hips, but Locus dodges expertly, setting Felix down in the entryway and pressing a kiss to his temple.  "Behave."

"Oh, c'mon, have you met me?"

Without another word, Locus breezes out to the driveway where Tucker waits to drive him to the airport.  But about then, Felix actually gets a look at the clock and curses.   _ Fuck, gonna be late. _

To make matters worse, Felix get picked to stay late and help the warehouse staff take inventory, so by the time he gets home that evening, he's twitchy and sore and would really,  _ really _ , not-hate someone fucking him through the mattress, please.   _ Thank fuck it's Friday. _  But when he opens the front door to a dark house, his heart sinks.  Oh right, Friday.  Tonight is Tucker and Carolina's night to go dancing.  And that means Wash's on late shift....  _ Fan-fuckin-tastic. _

Felix kicks off his shoes at the door, digs out his phone, and pulls up the order to the local pizza joint.  Yeah, there's leftovers, but what would really make this day suck less is an extra-large anchovy pizza and enough breadsticks to give God diabetes.  He has the phone nearly pressed to his ear when a sound catches his attention.  A moan.  Yeah, there's no mistaking it.  That breathy, keening, pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top sound is definitely a moan.

Led by his ears, Felix creeps through the dark house, grabbing one of Carolina's bantos rods en route, just in case he's dealing with a burglar who is just  _ really into _ robbing houses.  The moans sound like they're coming from the master bedroom.  Felix peeks around the door jamb and gets one hell of an eyeful: a thick black dildo sinking into that familiar freckled ass.  Wash.  Exhaling in relief, Felix quietly sets the rod outside the door, props his hip against the doorframe, and enjoys the show.

And Jesus, can Wash put on a show.  Rocking his hips back to meet each thrust.  Hissing and moaning at the slightest pressure.  His unoccupied hand twisting in the sheets, not so much as twitching toward his dick.  Fuck, seeing Wash in his element is always something special.

Smirking, Felix cocks his head to the side and comments, "I hate to interrupt, but you look like you could use a hand."

Wash jolts upright, dildo still stuffed up his ass, craning around to see who exactly has intruded on his alone time.  When he sees Felix, Wash's expression softens, but even from here, Felix can see his pupils are blown wide, he's flushed down to his neck, and his lower lip is caught between his teeth.  Felix chuckles but doesn't move an inch until Wash nods.  Then he slides out of his clothes and onto the bed behind Wash, fingers skimming over his reddened skin, up his sturdy thighs.  

Wash groans and arches back into him, stealing a kiss before dropping back onto the pillows.  "You're home late." Wash's voice comes out rough, sends a shiver up Felix's spine.

"And you're early."'

Nodding into the pillow, Wash answers.  "They overscheduled today, so boss cut me early."  Felix trails a finger over his lube-slick, puffy rim, just to make Wash moan.  "Everything okay with you."

"Yeah, just got saddled taking inventory."  Felix drapes himself over Wash's spine and nibbles at his ear.  "So how long you been abusing yourself?"

Wash scoffs.  "Not too long.  Besides, the build up's the fun part."

_ Yeah, says the man with a dildo up his ass. _  Just to be an asshole, Felix reaches around and closes his hand around Wash's locked groin.  Precum drools from the tip, thick and steady.  Wash keens like he can feel it, like his cock isn't trapped behind a solid plate of steel.  Felix tuts.  "Hate to break it to you, but that's not how you milk your prostate."

Flushing, Wash presses his face into the pillows.  Another line of precum drips over Felix's fingers.  Felix chuckles and shakes his head.   _ Weirder and fuckin' weirder. _ Seriously, though, there are so many things about Wash that Felix will never understand, most prominently among those being the cage.  After the five of the had come together and realized that yeah, this whole having kinky sex together wasn't just a phase, they'd actually sat down like adults and negotiated out their relationship.  And when chastity came up--because yeah, the list Carolina and Locus were working off of didn't pull any goddamn punches, thanks internet--Wash, the poor old guy, practically creamed on the spot.  

After the first time he and Tucker tried out a cheap acrylic cage, Wash came out a changed man.  At ease for once, not just around Tucker but around all of them.  He even started smiling, which still bends Felix's mind to this day.  Wash spends more time in the cage than out nowadays.  Usually, Felix was all for embracing kinks because, hey, what's one more hole among friends?  But right now...

Felix hums and ruts his locked dick against Wash's ass.  "Any chance you're interested in a night off?  A little 'you scratch my back, I scratch yours.'"

Wash's groin pulses reflexively, but he doesn't acknowledge it, just snorts into the pillow.  "Felix, you know the rules.  I only get unlocked on special occasions.  If you're just here to be an ass, you know where the door is."

Fair point.  Felix nuzzles the back of his neck.  "Can you blame a guy for trying?"

"A guy, no."  Wash grins at him over his shoulder.  "You.... eh."

Felix sticks out his tongue.  "Fine, fine.  We'll improvise."  He hops off the bed and digs through their collective toy chest.  Over the years, they've collected a frankly astounding collection of vibrators, butt plugs, clamps, cuffs, and other more inventive contraptions.  Other nights, Felix might consider going a little more elaborate, but tonight, Felix has two thirds of an idea that just might fit the bill, and all he needs is just the right toy.  "Aha!"

He holds out a comically long stretch of pliant, purple silicon for Wash's consideration.  "How about we split the difference?"

Wash's eyes glaze over with want.

In less than two minutes, Felix positions Wash on his back, slicks and stretches his own hole, and carefully slides half the double-ended dildo into Wash.  For every inch that breaches him, Wash trembles and keens, arching his back and begging for more.  "Shh," Felix calms him, pushing his bangs out of his face and laying a kiss on his forehead.  "Just hold still a little longer, and I'll make you feel good.  Think you can do that, Washy?"

"Dick."

Felix grins.  "That's my boy."

Crouching over the remaining length, Felix lowers himself, guiding the head to is hole, bearing down as it slips inside.  He hisses.   _ Too much too fast. _  But fuck, even that is more relief than he's had in days.  He rolls his hips side to side, trying to get more comfortably, but each shift leaves Wash clawing at the sheets, his long pale neck bared.   _ Well, at this point, it'd be rude to refuse. _

As Felix thrusts into Wash, he leaves a dozen rosy bites along Wash's collarbone, each one sparking another cry of "yes, more, please Felix."  With pleas like that, how can he deny Wash anything?

He and Wash find a rhythm with surprising ease.  Thrust, grind, thrust, grind.  More than once, Felix reaches down to palm his cock, only to get a fist full of warm, sloppy chrome.  But Wash's cries go higher and higher, his hands fisting more tightly against the bed, his eyes unfocused and blissed out.  Summoning up his voice, Felix asks, "Think you can come from this?"

Shivering, Wash shakes his head.  "Keep going.  Please?"

Felix bows his head and puts his back into it.

#

The next morning, Felix wakes up feeling like a colony of fungus is threatening to take up residence in his every nook and cranny.  Uh, why was he an idiot last night?  Why didn't he shower like he wanted to?  

A puff of breath warms his neck.  Felix looks down.  Wash is doing his best impersonation of an octopus, every limb wrapped tight around him, his face cradled up against Felix's pec, his snores light and even.  Shit, what universe has he stumbled into?  Wash is sleeping in, and  _ he's  _ the first one up?  But the derpy, boneless expression on Wash's face keeps Felix from squirming out of his arms because, honestly, Wash rarely gets a full night's sleep.  Seeing him so soft and clingy brings a smile to Felix's face.   _ Seriously, where does he get off being that cute? _

Felix hears a quiet hum of amusement from across the mattress.  He looks past Wash's mop of bedhead, past Tucker spooned up against Wash's back, and spots Carolina threading her fingers through Tucker's hair, her eyes fixed on Felix.

"Wow, creeper much, 'Lina," he whispers, keeping his voice low to not disturb the pair sleeping between them.

Her grin pulls a little broader.  She shrugs.  "Looks like you two had fun last night."

He throws a pointed glance down at the naked blond wrapped around him.  "Gee, what gave you that idea?"

Carolina carefully rolls sideways, grabs her phone off the nightstand and starts thumbing through it.  "Oh, not much.  But this might've given us some idea."

She holds out her phone to Felix. He squints at the brightness and instantly wishes he hadn't looked.  It's a photo of him and Wash snuggled together in sleep.  His mouth is slack, his hair is a mess, and at the bottom of frame, he spies a hit of purple sticking out from his ass.  Jesus, that's why he didn't take a shower; he and Wash probably didn't finish.  Felix feels his face heat up.   _ At least, Wash's leg wrapped around my hip hides the cages.  That's gotta count for something. _

Scowling, Felix reaches down and checks himself.  There's a faint tackiness between his ass cheeks--uncomfortable but nothing hot water and a little scrubbing won't fix--and his balls are thick and full, and Christ, he can practically feel the little guys swimming around in there. "Fuck, that's less than comfy."

Carolina's brows pinch together before her grin drops.  "It wouldn't be a punishment if you got to come any time you wanted."

Felix opens his mouth, ready for rebuttal, but Wash sighs and shifts against him, his eye blinking open for half a second before he nuzzles into Felix's pec, his slack mouth landing just shy of his nipple.  For the moment, Felix shuts up; instead, he runs a hand through Wash's hair, easing out some knots and rubbing his scalp.

Carolina gives another of her humming laughs.  "At least Wash enjoyed himself.  Haven't seen him this out of it since the time you and Tucker tried for double penetration.

His groin jolts.   _ Ah, that's a great memory. _  But if he dwells on it, things downstairs are gonna get uncomfortable really fast.  Closing his eyes, Felix squishes and squirms out of Wash's grip, shoving his pillow in as a place holder.  "If you'll excuse me," he tells 'Lina as he makes a bee-line for the bathroom, "I need to ice my balls.  See if they'll shrivel up and I can pop this off."

But as he retreats he catches a flicker of darkness across her face, her eyes tightening and her expression pulling into that tight, grim line, the one that only comes out when she's in Domme mode and you've pissed her off.  And her gaze is trained on him.

_ Aw, shit. _

#

Over the weekend, Felix works his way through Wash, Tucker (who pushes three ice cubes up his ass, dresses him in a hooded latex catsuit, and fucks his thighs while sucking his toes, the cheating fuck), and Carolina (who milks him--weirdest experience  _ ever _ \--then carves a plug out of ginger root and takes a cane to his ass for some godforsaken reason, but she gives him a thorough warm-up and cuddles him until he recovers so he can’t really complain), and none of them cough up the key to his cage.  So, by process of elimination, only one person can have it, and after eight days of agitation and near-constant erections, Felix is ready and waiting when Locus walks in the door.

See, Locus has a thing, something Felix recognized very early in their relationship: Locus likes being the biggest guy in the room.  The strongest.  The mountain, as it were.  And yeah, most of the time Locus is, but even though he has five inches and seventy pounds on him, Felix isn’t the type to back down at let some other asshole come to his rescue.  In public or in the bedroom.  Hell, more often than not when they fuck solo, Felix ends up on top.

But sometimes, when Locus is feeling down or Felix is feeling particularly generous--or, in this instance, when he really,  _ really _ , just wants to touch his own goddamn dick, okay?--Felix indulges him.

So when Locus comes home to find Felix in a new pair of lacy green panties, the glossy pair of heels he only brings out on special occasions, and not a stitch else, his mouth tips open and his gaze narrows around Felix like a predator honing in on a kill.  Suppressing a gulp, Felix shifts his weight and opens his arms welcomingly.  “Get in here, big boy.”

Locus is on him in seconds, his travel bag and briefcase abandoned by the half-open door.  He lifts Felix almost effortlessly, groans into his neck as Felix wraps those long legs around his torso.  

“Miss me?” Felix asks just to be cheeky.

Humming, Locus grabs his ass through the garment and feels something slick.  Head cocked, Locus probes deeper.  The moment Locus traces the base of the plug spreading Felix’s hole, his breath catches in his chest.  Laughing, Felix pulls back just enough to meet Locus’s eye and tips up his chin to kiss him thoroughly.  Tongue and teeth and sighs of want that leave them both shivering.

Locus walks them to the bedroom, getting his own revenge by pressing on the plug.  It’s an old favorite of theirs, one that even Wash isn’t brave enough to try.  But that’s just fine with Felix.  He’s always been a selfish asshole, and having something that’s just for him tickles the cockles of his heart.  

Felix spends the rest of the afternoon on his back, Locus teasing the plug in and out until his hole gapes and there’s a pool of pre-cum in the hollow of his stomach.  He keens when Locus spreads his hole with two nimble fingers and bucks his hips for something thicker, heavier, deeper.  And when Locus sinks in with one smooth thrust, Felix’s eyes roll back into his skull.  He wraps his legs back around Locus’s waist and urges him faster with his heels.

_ This would be borderline best-sex-ever if I could just stroke along. _

Later, after Locus nearly breaks the bedframe from the strength of his thrusts, he collapses on top of Felix, rolls sideways, and pulls Felix against his chest to cuddle.  They’re both sweaty and smell like lube and cum, but while Locus is still and satisfied, Felix can’t stop twitching.  He waits the necessary five minutes as Locus basks in the afterglow, then nudges Locus’s shoulder.  “So, good enough for a stay of execution?”

Locus chuckles under his breath, winding his arms more tightly around Felix's waist.  "You certainly surprised me.  Unfortunately."  Felix's heart drops out through his butt.  Given how thoroughly Locus fucked him, it's a miracle nothing else falls out.  "My turn ended when I hit the tarmac.  You'll have to try again."

"Noooooooo," Felix moans into Locus's shoulder, squirming and trying to get away, but even after an orgasm, Locus is a strong mother fucker.

"Better luck next time."

It would mean more if Locus wasn't grinning like a cat who caught the canary and his cock wasn't making a valiant effort to firm up for round two.

#

By the time Tucker gets home, he’s ready to punch the next living thing that messes with him.  Seriously.  That shift was hell.  Too many patients in and out with bullshit symptoms, clogging up the waiting room and taking attention away from people who actually needed medical attention.  After eighteen hours on his feet--yeah, he had to stay late because his replacement took her sweet time getting in--he’s got a wicked tension headache and a powerful need for a beer and a hot shower.  

He storms into the kitchen, cracks open a cold one, and nearly collapses under the weight of his relief.  However shitty that shift was, it’s over now.   _ Thank fuck. _

“Jesus, Tucker, be a little louder why don’t you?”

Tucker looks up and finds Felix in the doorway, bundled up in blankets, his eyelids heavy, his nose red and raw.  He looks almost as bad as Tucker feels, but that’s not enough to stop Tucker’s hand clenching around his beer.  Of all the people who could be home when he gets off a brutal shift, it just  _ had _ to be Felix, didn’t it?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tucker exhales and spits.  “For fuck’s sake, Felix, who died and made you queen bee?”

It’s harsh.  Harsher than Tucker means.  But the words to the trick.  Felix’s mouth snaps shut, and he looks down at his feet.  He shuffles over to the counter and rests his hand next to Tuckers, close enough to offer comfort, but only if Tucker wants it.  

Tucker takes another drag from his beer, reaching out for Felix and tugging him into a hug.  The blankets make everything ten times more awkward, but Felix goes readily, letting Tucker rest against his shoulder, taking his weight for a moment.  “Bad day,” Tucker says by way of an explanation.  “Shift from hell, actually.  Too many people.  Not enough nurses on staff.  Nearly lost a woman who came in with chest pains.  Mother of five, the oldest couldn’t’ve been fifteen.”

“Fuck, that’s awful.” Felix holds Tucker tighter, resting his cheek against his head. 

“Thank fuck it’s over.”

Felix hums sleepily.  Fuck, from the way he looks, he should probably be in bed, not holding Tucker up.  He pulls away gently, holding Felix by his waist.  Even though the blankets, he feels warmer.  “You should be in bed.”

“I’m fine.  Just--” he lurches forward, coughing hard, “--allergies.”

Nope, Tucker has to play this game enough with Wash; he’s not letting Felix play the macho card.  “Bed.  Now.”

Pouting, Felix rolls his eyes and heads toward the bedroom.  “Just a nap ‘til the others get home.  You coming?”

“Bow chicka bow wow.”

“And now the offer’s off the table.”

“Bed,” Tucker says, fighting back a laugh.  

_ Hey, at least he’s learning. _

#

_ Ah, Carolina, _ Felix thinks in the space between her choked-off moans.  There’s always something special about being under Carolina as he works her closer to the edge.  Something about her euphoric cries as she rides his tongue reverse-cowgirl style.  Something about the say she smirks at him and he pops an insta-boner, or tries to at any rate.  Maybe it’s because at heart she’s a simple woman with simple tastes; it’s just getting her to open up and admit them that’s the kicker.

Two sharp tugs at his nipples bring him out of his head, turn his attention to the lovely lady mounting his face.  “Oh, I’m sorry,” she looks over her shoulder at him, grinning with all the coyness of a freight train, “did I distract you?”

“Probably,” Emily says from somewhere beyond Felix’s line of sight.  She’s probably cuddled up with Locus until her time comes.  Normally, she’d be split open on Locus’s cock right about now, her cries filling up the bedroom, but tonight, Carolina’s calling the shots.  Emily goes on, “Your lady bits are a delightfully distracting playground.”

Carolina shivers, her spine arching and her hips grinding lower against his tongue.  Closing his eyes, Felix takes careful hold of her hips and cranes closer, lapping across her folds, teasing her with the occasional thrust of tongue.  

“Hands,” she snaps, pulling his nipple clamps like reigns.  It’s humiliating, but it turns his guts to soup.

Felix drops his hands to his sides; for good measure, Carolina shifts and pins them under her knees.  Not like he could do much with them anyway.  At this point, his hole’s loose from three weeks of bottoming, and he’s learned to keep his hands off his cock cage unless otherwise prompted.   _ And shit, that really shouldn’t make me all hot and bothered, but here we are. _  His blood surges toward his groin, but he doesn’t waste a second bemoaning yet another ruined erection.  He’s stopped trying to keep track, especially with his partners being so handsy.  Or maybe they’ve always been touchy-feely, and he’s gotten used to being on the touch first side of things.

Without so much as a grumble of discomfort, Felix settles into the zone, working Carolina higher and higher by any means necessary.  Nibbling at her thighs when she kneels up to let him breathe.  Tonguing her clit when she jostles the nipple clamps.  Overall, just trying to crawl inside her face-first.  Honestly, if he didn’t have the cage, he’d be at attention, primed and ready for her to ride him into the goddamn sunset.

“Em,” Carolina gasps, but Felix can barely hear her through those glorious thighs clamped around his ears.  “Em, I need…. Too much.  Push him back.”

_ Snap, snap! _ Felix bucks, fire-fresh pain lighting up his inner thighs.  He keens, splaying his tongue for Carolina to grind against.   _ Snap, snap! _  Two more flares of purple pain.  He whimpers, his hips twitching until a pair of small, smooth hands rub his flanks.

“Stop moving, silly,” Emily calls, just loud enough for Felix to hear through the haze of Carolina around him.  “Wouldn’t want to hit your gonads on accident, now would we?”

And instead of shaking his head like a sane person, he whines and arches forward, practically presenting.  Carolina leans forward and twists his nipples, clames and all.  Felix nearly cries.   _ Fuck, when did pain start to feel like this?  Sure, Tucker gets worked up from getting spanked, but that’s different, right?  Right?! _

“Oh, someone likes that,” Emily coos, grabbing his balls gently and soothing the skin tight across them.  “Maybe next time.  So we can talk it out first.”

Felix moans, squirming.  Jesus, Carolina is holding herself just far enough away.  If he could pull her down, she’d be over the edge in minutes.  But no, she just keeps hovering over him, close enough to smell and taste but out of reach.  He whines, straining until his neck cramps and he collapses.  “Jesus fuck, ‘Lina.  Give a guy a break.”

“Why?” She looks down at him smugly, sweat beading along her hairline, her shoulders heaving as she speaks.  “You getting tired?”

He scowls.

Carolina throws him a wink and continues.  “Because you’ve still got a long way to go before I’m done with you, especially with Tucker at work and Wash leaving soon.  Or maybe I should grab that gag.  You know the one.”

Felix shivers.  Yeah, he knows which gag she means.  The pecker gag, the one just long enough to tease the back of his throat, outfitted with a rigid silicon dildo so he could “put his mouth to good use.”

Before his blush can spread across his cheeks, Felix tenses his core and leans up, bypassing ‘Lina’s folds and delving for that pretty pink pucker between her ass cheeks.  He swirls his tongue around the furl, presses in, and feasts like she’s his last meal.  Carolina moans, and in seconds, she grabs him by the hair and holds him in place.

_ Fuck, she’s always full of surprises. _

There’s a flurry of motion around him, but Felix can’t be assed to care.  Not with Carolina tugging his hair and opening just beautifully.  One moment, his back is threatening to spasm; the next, someone warm presses against his back, one hand firm on his lower abdomen, the other weaving through his hair in counterpoint to Carolina.  Locus.  He knows those hands anywhere.  And when Emily tweaks his nipples and  _ snap, snaps _ her crop against his thighs, Felix can’t contain himself.

Pulling back just enough to breathe, he gasps, “‘Lina, come on my face.  Please.”

With a cry, Carolina pulls him back into his position.  Locus leans into his neck and whispers, “I think she can manage that for you.”

“C’mon, sweetie,” Emily says from somewhere between his legs, most likely talking to ‘Lina.  “Lemme hold you so you don’t sprain that wrist.”

Carolina shifts forward slightly, and one of her hands brushes his chin.  Felix keens, redoubling his efforts.  Yes yes, this is good.  This is so good.  She’s playing with her clit, pushing herself higher and higher until her breath hiccups out of her chest and her ass clenches around his tongue.  A few more strokes, and he feels something warm and wet dripping down his chin and throat.

For a few seconds, Carolina pets him gently. Then she angles her hips back and says, “Clean me up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A few sweeps of his tongue and she’s clean, but if she hadn’t pulled away, hand to his heart, he would’ve dived back in for round two. Closing his eyes, Felix collapses, his mind wrapped up in the scent and taste of her, his tongue still working against thin air. Locus strokes his hair and shushes him, but Felix can’t stop twitching.  HE’s seconds away from scrambling into position--face down, ass up, holding himself open for someone,  _ anyone _ , to make use of him--when Carolina climbs into his lap and kisses his forehead.

“You okay in there?”

“Oh, great,” he says, his voice breaking as he struggles to put his words together.  “Ready to take a pair of bolt cutters to  _ this _ ,” he bucks hi hips, presses his cage against her thigh for emphasis, “but, you know,  _ great _ .”

Chuckling, Carolina leans closer.  “Good, because you’ve still go a guest to take care of.”

Felix pries open his eyes, sees Emily spooned up behind ‘Lina, eyeing him like a piece of meat.  “I haven’t heard ‘Lina make sounds like that since that time in college when I got her to ride a sybian on center stage at the Kink Club.  Sooooo, color me curious about that tongue of yours.”

He groans.  “‘Lina, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but  _ fuck _ that. You wore me out.”

“Tell you what,” she says, scooting off the bed and rummaging through her discarded clothes.  “You take care of Emily, any way she wants,” she pauses, holding out a tiny silver key, “and I’ll give you back your dick.”

Instantly, his heart throws itself against his ribs, pounding hard.  His eyes go wide, and his mouth goes dry.  Fuck, it’s there, right there.  The literal key to his salvation.  And Carolina’s just dangling it in front of him.  

Felix scrubs his face and shudders.   _ Well, here goes another little chunk of his pride _ .  “Fuck, I’m gonna get another tongue cramp.”

“Not necessarily,” Locus comments.

Ten minutes later, Felix is laid out on his back once more, the pecker gag strapped into his mouth, Emily bouncing up and down at her typical hyper-active pace, Locus pressed up against her back, pinching her nipples and raining kisses along her neck.  From the corner of his eye, Felix can see Carolina watching the scene with rapt attention, and that alone keeps him from glowering up at the pair using him as a glorified sex toy.  Instead, he closes his eyes and chants in his head,  _ A little more, and you get to cum.  A little more, and you get to cum, motherfucker! _

When Emily’s moans turns breathy and high-pitched, almost like they’re being literally fucked out of her, Felix doubles his efforts, holding her hips and bobbing up to meet each thrust.  He can do this.  Just a little more, and he gets to get hard and touch his goddamn dick.

“I’m about to head--oh.”  Wash ducks his head around the door jamb, his eyes widening at the sight laid out on their bed.  Felix smirks when his cheeks start to color--or he would if it weren’t for the gag.  Wash’s gaze darts to Carolina, his throat working convulsively.  “I’m gonna… work.  Did you need me to take over, ‘Lina?”

Felix’s brow wrinkles.   _ Take over? _

And in all her naked glory, Carolina rises and crosses the bedroom.  She pulls Wash into a steamy goodbye kiss, throws a shit-eating grin toward Felix, and presses the little silver key into Wash’s hand.   “Don’t forget to pick up Tucker later.”

Wash nods before shooting Felix an almost sympathetic but mostly devious look and disappearing out the door.

_ Oh fuckin’ fuck! _

The noise that shatters out of Felix’s throat gets muted by Emily’s cry as Locus thrusts into her ass.  But he can feel Carolina’s eyes on him as she slinks back to the bed and crawls in between his legs.  She slaps his thighs until they spread wider and starts playing with his hole.  “You know better than to argue, Felix,” she says as she toys with the skin, not pressing in hard enough or deep enough to give him anything like relief.  “Maybe this way you’ll learn.”

Tears fill his eyes.  He cries out, squirming up toward Emily and Locus, down toward ‘Lina’s devious fingers.  Jesus, he is never trusting Carolina.  Ever.  Never ever. 

_ But, fuck, is she devious. _

Scratch everything he thought about getting his cock locked away when his partners first caged him.  This, all this, is ten times worse than he expected.  

He shivers and begs for more.  Thank God, no one can hear him through the gag.


	2. Catering To the Maid

Felix steps out of the shower, clean and fresh and itching for some relief.  It was the first day off they’ve all had off together in weeks, maybe even months by this point, and after the fiasco of spending nearly a month with his cock locked up, Felix is ready for a chance to get even.  He’d laid out his outfit already, everything he needed to thoroughly enjoy himself.  

He starts by sliding in a small plug, something to give him a little more sensation while he goes about his business.  He pauses briefly to dust himself with talcum, his eyes gleaming and his mouth running dry at the sight laid out before him.

The thing about Felix is, nine times out of ten, he can make due with what’s in front of him.  Wash wants to spend an evening with his hands tied behind his back and his partners teasing him to the edge of orgasm?  Sign him up.  Carolina wants to turn someone’s ass red and ride their face to climax?  Yeah, he’s got a great face for sitting on.  Tucker wants someone to wrestle him, no holds barred, and the winner gets to top?  He knows all the dirty moves.  Locus wants to put his fist in someone?  Felix is there with the crisco.  But yeah, everyone has that thing that makes them melt.  And Felix, well, he likes latex.

He snaps on the latex sheath for his cock and ball and rolls the black body suit up his legs, easing his package into place before shimmying it over his hips and farther up.  Getting his arms situated and zipping up the back is tricky, but after a few years playing around, he’s learned all the tricks.  Once it’s zipped to his neck, he slides on the frilly skirt and apron.  It’s otherworldly, seeing the fabric ruffling over his thighs and groin but not feeling a goddamn thing.  A shiver rolls down his spine, arousal already warming his gut.  His outfit won’t be complete without his corset and boots, but first, he needs to put on his face.

After a little training from Carolina and Emily, Felix can turn himself from ruggedly handsome--Tucker’s words, not his--to goddamn pretty in about twenty minutes.  A light contour to make his cheekbones pop, heavy eye makeup, and a luscious, bold lip.  He smirks at himself in the vanity mirror, just to double check everything’s in place, then heads back to put on the finishing touches.  The corset’s a bitch to get on by himself, but his breath turns thin and his cock twitches in anticipation.  He sits down on the foot of the bed, squeezing his rubber-clad feet into the dainty little boots and lacing them up, each tug making his heart beat a little faster.  When he stands, he has to brace himself against the bedpost and find his balance in the ballet boots.   _ I am fucking awesome, _ he thinks as he grabs his feather duster--his last prop--and waltzes out of the bedroom.  

Felix’s heels click in short quick bursts as he moves room to room, miming dusting as he goes.  The first time around, he actually did a little housework and ended up sneezing so hard he toppled and sprained an ankle.  Most folks would give up after such a setback.  Not Felix.  He’s never met a challenge he didn’t want to obliterate.  

Halfway around the den, Felix finds his first obstacle.  One of the statues is blocking the doorway into the kitchen, a sturdy study of an old soldier, his face stern as he’s posed at parade rest.  This is one of the more detailed art pieces.  Freckles and dusky pink scars cover him head to toe.  Without pause, Felix strides in front of the statue, giving it a thorough dusting.  Can’t leave a single inch dirtied, or the dust could damage it.  He works methodically, dusting shoulders, neck, pecs--those pert little nipples are dust magnets--all the way down.  He hears the statue suck in a sharp breath when Felix tackles his nipples and sides, groin pulsing reflexively, rising into a beautiful flush.  “Oh, Wash.  Watching you get hard is always a treat.”

Satisfied, Felix grins and takes the long way around to give the soldier’s posterior the same thorough treatment.  When the feathers tease his ass and the back of his thighs, a muted whine sounds, but the statue doesn’t twitch.  Felix hums, reaching out and rubbing a thumb along the statue’s ass.  He earns himself another choked off groan, the faintest flinch of the statue’s hips.   _ Not so stoic after all. _  But instead of teasing further, Felix leaves the statue be.  He has work to do after all.

The next statue is posed in the corner of the kitchen, another broad specimen, but this statue is taller and darker.  Like the soldier, this statue stands at attention, one hand outstretched, his gaze certain.  Felix makes quick work of the cursory dusting, but every time his duster flicks across the nipples, the statue shudders and lurches ever so slightly.   _ Can always trust Locus to make these rounds soooooo enjoyable. _

Felix cocks his head, holds his duster by the tip of the handle, and lets its swing back and forth, the edges tickling the statue.  Over the course of a minute, the statue quivers, flushing as it tries to hold position.  Then the moans start, deep noises barely held back.  Felix’s dick throbs at the sound, swelling inside his suit.  Oh yes.  This is what he lives for.  Getting a chance to tease his partners when they could absolutely fight back but won’t is just delicious, but Locus always makes the game ten times more entertaining.  Try as he might, he can’t help how sensitive he is.  

But as the statue’s knees quiver, Felix pulls back, smirking.  If he breaks Locus now, the game’s over, and where’s the fun in that?

The statue of the woman stands beside the door, one arm shielding her breasts modestly, the other stretched toward the sky.  Grinning, Felix sets to work.  Carolina is usually the most difficult of his partner’s to break.  In addition to being the least ticklish of the lot, she also plays defensively, putting her back to the wall and guarding her tits.  But that’s alright.  Felix can make due.  

As he dusts her off, he talks, “Well, you’re not like the others, are you?”  He drags the feather duster along her flanks, her thighs holding firm, her breath coming surprisingly quickly.  “You tell a story, don’t you.  Madonna holding up the sky?  Protecting her virtue?”  Angling his head, Felix trails his fingers up to her folds, grins at the slick pooling, betraying her.  Grinning up at her, Felix presses his fingers to his lips, lapping up her juices.  “Or maybe just waiting for the right audience to come to life.”  

He leans forward, pressing his face into her pubis, breathes in the scent of her, then draws back and continues his rounds.  Always more to tidy.  Always more to attend to.

Felix sweeps the house, room by room, looking for that last pesky statue.  The one that hides.  No matter, he likes the chase.  Every measured step makes the plug shift inside him, makes him clench in anticipation.  Plus the longer he draws the out, the longer the others have to stew.  The longer they have to wait for release.

When he makes it back to the bedroom and still can’t find the statue, Felix’s brow furrows.  Huh, that’s odd.  Usually he’s found all the statue’s by now.  And he’s check the garage, the storage room, even the guest bathroom.  There’s nowhere left to hide, only--

His cheeks heat up.   _ Oh, he didn’t. _

Felix struts through the house, his steps measured and his destination certain.  Maybe he’s wrong.  Maybe Tucker wouldn’t be so stupid.  But when he rounds the corner and sees the back door not only unlocked but open, the puddle of arousal in his gut burns hot.  Sucking in a deep breath, Felix struts forward and opens the door.

And sure enough, there draped ass up over the patio table, there’s his last statue, grinning and barely stopping his hips from grinding against the metal.  Felix tilts his head and approaches slowly, the sun beating down on his getup and warming him.   _ Thank god we don’t have any neighbors, because this is too damn much. _

“Well, you look comfy,” Felix says before he starts his dusting.  He covers the expansive back, twice to make sure he doesn’t miss an inch.  The sun glints on something wet between his cheeks.  Felix stills, setting his duster aside before reaching down.  “What do we have here?”

His fingers slide through the residual lube effortlessly, pushing into the statue easily.  The statue twitches, and its hole opens for him, but other than that, not a move.  It’s a shame he’s not on his back.  If Locus can be consider ticklish, Tucker is doubly so.  He’s gotten Tucker to drop to the floor for him just from teasing his nipples. 

“Someone’s presumptive,” Felix comments before slipping his fingers out and reaching under the skirt.  He finds the zipper and eases it open, pulling out his latex covered cock and giving it a few strokes to get all the way hard.  Without further warning, he lines up and drives it.

He’s got to hand it to Tucker.  The statue lasts through about four minutes of vigorous fucking before the noises start.  Breathy moans.  Half-swallowed keens.  Then he arches his hips back, practically begging for more. But with the latex sheath surrounding him, Felix can’t feel anything more than a firm, warm pressure.  There’s nothing spurring him faster, harder, deeper, just his own will to have a slow, lazy fuck.  

“Please,” Tucker whispers against the metal table top.  “Felix, please.”

_ Fuck, he sounds good begging. _  Grinning, Felix pats his flank.  “Not yet.”

The whine he gets in return is music to his ears.  Fuck he can’t wait to head back inside and wreck his way through the remaining statues.  

They may be sticklers about punishments and order and shit, but Felix has to hand it to them.  His partners are goddamn awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, and concrit welcome. Come scream with me on Tumblr (birdsbeesandlemonadetrees.tumblr.com)


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